I quote it in full:
When you’ve met someone who is more broken than you, what would you feel? I wouldn’t know what to say. I wouldn’t know how to react. I wouldn’t know how would I feel. It feels like seeing yourself from a different person but worse. Seeing someone more alone and broken hearted can be heart breaking and lonely for someone’s part. It seems that what he’s gone through made him more weak until now. He’s always using his heart and never his brain which is such a waste for someone smart, talented and artistic. I got mad because once again he’s doing what he’s done so many times. Hurting himself and I don’t know how he copes with heartbroken when in fact he can stand up on his own. If I was in front of him I will smack his face so that he would wake up and then I will hug him.
First thing I am sure is I am grateful I am not alone. I thought I am in such great pain until I realized that she feels pain harder than mine. She is carrying a heavier burden than me. This pain I have is just a nut compared to hers. My pain is so little I should be ashamed why until now I could not overcome it. Thank you because even if you are in pain you let me realized this.
In front of her I am very compassionate. I feel sorry about her pain. I am very sympathetic. I want her to share with me some of her pain to at least lessen her burden. I want to take her sadness so that it's not her but me who will feel it. However, in reality, pain cannot be quantified. It cannot be shared. It can only be felt the same way as what she feels. I cannot take some of it. In this way, I cannot help but to just be with her hoping that at least my presence might help. At least my presence would let her realize that I am always here to help. Anytime she will ask for something, a glass of water may be, I am here to give it to her at once. I will let her understand and realize that it is natural to experience great pain, especially, like the cause of her sadness, her boyfriend left her. Why? Because he already have Someone in his heart. She was replaced with Someone with greater importance. He himself cannot do anything but to let go and follow that Someone.
The hardest thing here is that I am the reason why she is feeling this way. Though I have the reasons and she herself said she understood, I cannot deny the fact that I had hurt her. It is awkward to tell her she should go out and meet more friends and find someone she really deserves and reminding her that when I was not yet with her, she lived as normal as she could. It is also awkward to tell her that I believe in her and that she can easily overcome this. I want to tell her "In time you will realize that "Everything happens for a reason". In such circumstances, you are not in control. HE is the one. Trust Him. He knows what He is doing. He gave you this experience because He believes in you. He will not give something you cannot do."
I'm telling her I love her but I am leaving her. I love her but I have to go. I love her, but I love the Other more. I love you, that is why I am setting you free.
In the end, knowing that he will leave her, she still can say "I love you. I will treasure everything we have had. I learned a lot from you. You are no-other-guy. You have a big part in my heart. I will carry you here always and let you live here. I will still wait, if ever you changed your mind I am always here ready to accept you, because you are so dear to me and I really truly love you."
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