Assumptions: relationship is broken and afraid to forgive

There are people who made too many assumptions. Assumptions that ruined a relationship. Since they assumed, they will allege the people involve. Oh yes, a questionable and doubtful assertions. Miguel Ruiz is worth noting here, when he said , “Making assumptions in our relationship is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that we don’t have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us as so well. If they don’t do what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and say, ‘You should have known.’”

If that happens, both will be blaming each other. Even if one will accept his fault (though it was not his fault), the other will just be saying nonsense. The sad thing here is that, she is mad at her partner himself, and not to the act. True, she is mad to the person not of his doing (often people have this kind of attitude). It is because she sees her partner as evil as the fault is. Essentially, a person is good. Why? Because His creator is the Supreme Good. How come a person from Supreme Good be evil? Who wants to contradict this? Very logical isn’t it? The result of hating the person and not of his doing is not to forgive him. She is afraid to forgive, afraid to forgive herself because her assumptions are the cause of a breakup, a termination of their relationship.

These are some of the many effects of making assumptions: relationship is broken and being so afraid to forgive.

To die is to have life

Death is the separation of form and matter. Death, in a broader sense, that is all living and non-living things, is the turning point of a substance to become another substance. It will have another identity of itself. The former will be gone, and another will become. The it will become other it.

Death, in strict sense, is only for the living beings. Plants and animals when they die their form will vanish but the matter in which the form of the animals and plants are visible, will remain but will accept another form proper to it. To wit, imagine a glass of orange juice, if you will put water on in till it overflows and until the color and taste of orange juice will be wiped out, the glass of orange juice is no more but a glass of water is.

Today is Ash Wednesday. God is calling us to repentance. We should die in order to become another flesh and fresh again. We should die in order that God can enter into our life. We should deny ourselves and let God be in control. Let us open ourselves and prepare ourselves to accept God again in our life.

There are things I want to tell you

Things that you might want to hear from me. Things that will make you smile. Things like, seeing you in the future, I want to be with you every second of my life, I want to eat every meal with you, I want to come with you anywhere, I want to hold your hand tighter everyday, I want to hug you harder to make you feel what is inside me, I want to watch movies you like to watch and listen to music you like to hear, I want to join you to read and write, I want to buy the books you are reading, I want to buy you more books you like, I want you near me, I want to walk with you, I want to drink with you, I want to listen to your stories, (I want to fart and burp too when you do then we laugh out loud Wahahah!!!), I want to cook for you, I want to sip on your glass, I want us to eat in one plate, I want to sit, lie and sleep beside you.

Things like, I like your black hair, your eyes, you stare, your cute nose. I like your rough palm, your uncut fingernails, (your tiny but plenty mustache and beard that makes me giggle), I like the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you smile, the way you explain things, they way you make me understand … and a lot more.

I want to tell you I like you: I love you.
I want to tell you I want you: I need you.

Why is it

though you are far, you’re so near.
though you are silent, you’re saying a lot of things.
though you are small, you’re bigger than me.
though you are hesitant, I am very certain.
though you are tired or bored, I am energetic.
though you are unwilling, I am generous.
though you are wrong, I see it right.
though you are not asking something from me, I am giving.
though you are not informing, I understand.
though you are not looking, you’re staring.
though you are not talking, I am opening.
though you are not smiling, I smile a lot.
though you are not listening, I continue talking.
though you are not dancing, I dance for you.
for just a touch I am healed.
for just a smile I am happy.
for just a look I am satisfied.
for just a hug I am filled.
for just a kiss I am complete.
for just a walk I am overjoyed.

For these so many whys, one thing I am certain enough: Iloveyou.

Why are you so afraid to love...

Why are you so afraid to love...
because you are afraid to be left behind?
because you cannot afford to feel the feeling of being hurt?
because you cannot let go of the past?
because you do not want that history will repeat itself?
because it is hard for you to detach once attached?
because you cannot afford to loose and to lose somebody?
because you cannot forgive yourself once you failed again?
because you do not want others to be hurt because of you?
because your past is always reminding you of the tragic moments, it keeps coming and chasing you?
because you have not recover yet from you past relationship?
because you do not want to love more that will turn into a waste?
because you are reserving your love to the one you are waiting to love you?
because you do not want  to love somebody more than you love yourself, it will make a big mark if he leaves you?
because you do not want that that somebody you love will be taken by another?
because you do not want to feel jealous and irritated again?
because you do not want to cry over and over again?
because you do not want to die for the sake of the other?
because you cannot understand why? Because you are always using your reasoning and not your heart? (The heart has a reason that reason cannot understand.)
because you can only love for a certain period?
because they cannot love you the way you do?
because you do not want to tell again, "I love you but I do not trust you."? So weird!
because you do not want to say again, "You know what? You really broke my heart."?
because you cannot leave the way you are living right now, cause you cannot do it anymore if you are in a relationship?
Whatever your reason may be, you have the reason.

Everything happens for a reason

I just want to share some thoughts regarding the Random Thought Number 125 of chimeangel01.

I quote it in full:


When you’ve met someone who is more broken than you, what would you feel? I wouldn’t know what to say. I wouldn’t know how to react. I wouldn’t know how would I feel. It feels like seeing yourself from a different person but worse. Seeing someone more alone and broken hearted can be heart breaking and lonely for someone’s part. It seems that what he’s gone through made him more weak until now. He’s always using his heart and never his brain which is such a waste for someone smart, talented and artistic. I got mad because once again he’s doing what he’s done so many times. Hurting himself and I don’t know how he copes with heartbroken when in fact he can stand up on his own. If I was in front of him I will smack his face so that he would wake up and then I will hug him.

First thing  I am sure is I am grateful I am not alone. I thought I am in such great pain until I realized that she feels pain harder than mine. She is carrying a  heavier burden than me. This pain I have is just a nut compared to hers. My pain is so little I should be ashamed why until now I could not overcome it. Thank you because even if you are in pain you let me realized this.


In front of her I am very compassionate. I feel sorry about her pain. I am very sympathetic. I want her to share with me some of her pain to at least lessen her burden. I want to take her sadness so that it's not her but me who will feel it. However, in reality, pain cannot be quantified. It cannot be shared. It can only be felt the same way as what she feels. I cannot take some of it. In this way, I cannot help but to just be with her hoping that at least my presence might help. At least my presence would let her realize that I am always here to help. Anytime she will ask for something, a glass of water may be, I am here to give it to her at once. I will let her understand and realize that it is natural to experience great pain, especially, like the cause of her sadness, her boyfriend left her. Why? Because he already have Someone in his heart. She was replaced with Someone with greater importance. He himself cannot do anything but to let go and follow that Someone.


The hardest thing here is that I am the reason why she is feeling this way. Though I have the reasons and she herself said she understood, I cannot deny the fact that I had hurt her. It is awkward to tell her she should go out and meet more friends and find someone she really deserves and reminding her that when I was not yet with her, she lived as normal as she could. It is also awkward to tell her that I believe in her and that she can easily overcome this. I want to tell her "In time you will realize that "Everything happens for a reason". In such circumstances, you are not in control. HE is the one. Trust Him. He knows what He is doing. He gave you this experience because He believes in you. He will not give something you cannot do."


I'm telling her I love her but I am leaving her. I love her but I have to go. I love her, but I love the Other more. I love you, that is why I am setting you free.


In the end, knowing that he will leave her, she still can say "I love you. I will treasure everything we have had. I learned a lot from you. You are no-other-guy. You have a big part in my heart. I will carry you here always and let you live here. I will still wait, if ever you changed your mind I am always here ready to accept you, because you are so dear to me and I really truly love you."

Keeping In Love

When you are in love, nothing is impossible. Everything is possible.

When you are in love, you can see all the positive sides even to the negative things. You can think optimistically at all times. You can think of more possibilities.

When you are in love, you do not count. You do not complain. You do not expect something in return. You do not make conditions. There are no if's.

When you are in love, you do not hesitate. You do not think twice. You are very certain. You understand fully.

When you are in love, you smile a lot. Everything is so amazing. You are happy. You are free.

When you are in love, you will not do things that will hurt the other. You will do whatever she likes. You want the other happy.

When you are in love, you think of her always. You see her face in every corner. You will hear her voice and her laughs even when she is not present and you will laugh too. (^_^) Sounds crazy isn't it? Yes it will make you crazy. Flashbacks keep coming back. Those wonderful moments. Those sweet, thoughtful, funny, unexpected and blooper moments and also those unpleasant jokes. Those books and bookshelves at the bookstores where we spent together and talked about them. There are times that you will remember her adoring body scent. Her perfume. You miss her soft and tight hugs, her mild and strong kisses and her considerate and gentle smiles.

When you are in love, you will change. You stop smoking. You drink moderately. You do not tell lies. You are very open and honest to each other. You do not hide anything. You tell all your secrets. You want to tell to each other everything about you, good and bad experiences. You want each other to know where you are, what you do, what you think etc. You trust each other. The whole of you, you want the other know.

When you are in love, you accept the other as who and what she is. You are very compassionate. You do not care of the other's past. You want to heal her, instead. You think of good things for her. You want each other to be safe always. You want  to caress, to guard, to guide and to protect her. You want each other to always be at your side and both of you will journey together.

When you are in love, you want to stay and live with the other, forever. Time does not matter. Distance is no matter. Space no matter. Love is all that matters.

When you are in love, all you have to do is to love and love more. You do not want to stop. You keep it.